As part of our Blended Family Friday series, each week we're spotlighting a different stepfamily to learn how they successfully blended their two families together. Our hope is that by telling their stories, we'll bring you closer to blended family bliss in your own life!
This week, we're getting to know Katie and Kurt and their five kids, who range from age 6 to 23.
Hey, Katie! Please introduce us to your family.
Our blended family consists of five children between Kurt and me. We have three daughters, Meghan, 23; Cassandra, 13; and Meridith, 11 -- and two sons, Tyler, 20 and Samuel, 6.
How long have you and you and Kurt been together?
My husband and I have been together since our first date watching Sunday Night Football on November 25, 2007. We were married on July 25, 2011; it was the same date as our first date, just backwards -- corny, I know, but we thought it was the perfect date to begin our journey as a blended family.
What has been the best thing about being part of a blended family over the last six years?
We were challenged with the age differences between our children, but when they are together they are respectful to each other -- you wouldn?t even know they were step-siblings. We do our best to show the children the importance of family and how they are so lucky to have an extended family with not only their biological parents, but also their stepparents. When I was growing up, we didn?t see much of our extended family, so both my husband and I encourage our children to stay in contact with their immediate and extended families.
What have been some of the biggest challenges of blended family life?
One of the biggest challenges we've dealt with as a blended family has been coping when the other parent -- our exes -- is unable to accept the newly blended family or when they can't see that they need to share the children with our family. If this happens in your blended family, you need to be respectful toward the other parent?s feelings (they do have the children on a day-to-day basis!) while maintaining boundaries when the kids are in your home. At the end of the day, the parents and stepparents all have the same goal: to love and care for the children. You just have to realize that each parent does it in their own way and that makes the relationship they have with the kids unique.
What makes you proudest of your family?
Bringing our two families together. Family is the most important thing in the world to my husband and me and we feel like we were blessed when we married and added to our family.
What advice do you have for other blended families who feel like a peaceful family dynamic is out of reach?
Do your best to be respectful to the other parent and always keep your word or promises to the kids. They're struggling with the loss of their family and they need to build trust with you as their stepparent. Keep the communication with the other parent related to the children and respond with no emotion -- be clear, concise and to the point. Misunderstandings happen. Be strong, have faith and cherish the memories and moments when you see your kids and your spouse smiling. In my experience, it's when you hear your family laughing or saying those three little words -- "I love you" -- that your heart melts and you realize just how lucky you are to be blessed with your blended family.
Click through the slideshow below the see photos of Katie and Kurt's family.
If you'd like your own family to be featured on a Blended Family Friday, please email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com. We're looking forward to hearing your story!
The girls
Cassandra
Meridith
Sam
Meghan and Tyler
Cassandra, Meridith and Sam
Meghan and Tyler
Meet Kara And Richard's Family
"Give it time! We have only recently arrived at a place where we all feel secure in our role in our family but it took years, tears and lots of flexibility. It might take one family a few months to have the wrinkles ironed out or it might take years."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/07/blended-family-friday-mee_n_3399272.html">Read Meet Kara and Richard's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Harriet And Joe's Family
"When Joe and I first blended our family, our six kids were our number-one priority. Treating our kids like individuals and not as a 'herd,' as we called it, was a key component to making each of our kids feel special and feel like an important part of the family, which they were."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/31/blended-family-friday-mee_5_n_3361975.html">Read Harriet and Joe's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Chelsea And Jeremy's Family
"My husband and I refuse to treat any of the children any differently. We see them all as 'ours,' which I think is very important. We try to make sure all children feel equal and included in our family and our lives."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/24/blended-family-friday-mee_4_n_3328763.html">Read Chelsea and Jeremy's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Maureen And Tom's Family
"Our children have really become true siblings. They love (and hate) one another just like regular siblings. They have taken a tough situation and made it into something beautiful."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/17/blended-family-friday-mee_3_n_3288745.html">Read Maureen and Tom's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Stacee's Family
"Both of my dad's exes and all the kids lived under one roof. My brothers and I were raised as siblings -- not half siblings but just siblings -- and we had two moms (although Goonie and Mikey call my mom auntie). On the weekends, dad only had to make one stop to pick up all his kids!"
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/10/blended-family-friday-mee_2_n_3247059.html">Read Stacee's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Anessa And Keith's Family
"Do not beat yourself up for making a mistake -- after all, we are human. Just love one another and be there for the kids especially when they push away -- that is when they need and want you the most."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/03/blended-family-friday_n_3204734.html">Read Anessa and Keith's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Wendy And Arlando's Family
"Our children are all grown and out on their own, but when we get together there is no greater feeling. Sitting around a table and watching our adult children interact with each other is the best part of having a blended family. They look out for each other; in fact, sometimes we joke that they know more about each other than we do."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/26/blended-family-friday-mee_1_n_3158951.html">Read Wendy and Arlando's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Samara And Jeff's Family
"My stepkids have realized over the years how blessed they are to have a family situation where there is peace between their parents, where we all live within the same community and school district and where there is genuine love for all of the kids."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/19/blended-family-friday-mee_0_n_3113074.html">Read Samara and Jeff's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Susan And Peter's Family
"The kids are really the ones who wanted us to get married. I think they need to feel like this is forever. Recently, Jake, Peter's son, told me he wants my son Jamie to be his best man someday. I get teary thinking about it."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/12/blended-family-friday_n_3056616.html" target="_hplink">Read Susan and Peter's full Blended Family Friday profile</a>
Meet Amy And Eric's Family
"Think of a blended family as being made or 'cooked' in a crock pot, not a pressure cooker. Each person has to find their comfort level and will do so on their own time. Be willing to give your biological children your blessing to love their other parent and spouse."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/05/blended-family-friday_n_3017443.html" target="_hplink">Read Amy and Eric's full Blended Family Friday profile</a>
Meet Mimi And Stu's Family
"My advice to anyone working on blending a family is to always put the child first. Never, ever, say a negative word about your ex in front of your child. Be flexible and patient. It takes time. Always remember when the kids are acting out it's because they are hurting. Take a deep breath and think of a way to lift them up."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/29/blended-family-friday_n_2975161.html">Read Mimi and Stu's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Valerie And Brandon's Family
"Finding time to love and pay attention to everyone as they need is the biggest challenge. Some days there isn't enough of me, but it's fun feeding, clothing and loving all these people. They make me crazy, but I like it!" <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/22/blended-family-friday-mee_n_2927660.html">Read Valerie and Brandon's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
Meet Jen And Ryan's Family
"The best thing about being a part of a blended family is being able to show the children what a real, loving marriage and family looks like ... The lessons that they learn though the adjustment and the tough times are good ones. They see that two people who love each other can weather the storm of life and stay together."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/15/blended-family-friday_n_2885521.html" target="_hplink">Read Jen and Ryan's full Blended Family Friday profile</a>
Meet Nicole And Nick's Family
"Let kids be kids. Don't expect too much of them. Don't push new family members on each other but work hard to find in each a common interest and build on it. Our two girls bonded over the new 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' series and spent hours collecting gear and acting out each of the characters."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/08/blended-family-friday-_n_2832153.html" target="_hplink">Read Nicole and Nick's full Blended Family Friday profile</a>
Meet Crissy And Jimmy's Family
"We feel fortunate to show [our kids] what a healthy, loving partnership looks like. No one goes into marriage thinking they will be divorced one day. It is even more painful when there are children involved. The best thing, we believe, we could do is show our children that it is possible to be in a loving, stable relationship built on mutual trust and respect."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/01/blended-family_n_2776391.html" target="_hplink">Read Crissy and Jimmy's full Blended Family Friday profile</a>
Karen And Shawn's Family
"Every blended family has a different make-up of people and personalities and paths they have to take to arrive at the door to success. I've chosen to take one day, (and sometimes one glass of wine) at a time and here we are six years later."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/22/blended-family-friday-mee_n_2729140.html">Read Karen and Shawn's full Blended Family Friday profile</a>
Elizabeth And Donald's Family
"We are proudest of the fact that we are a family -- blended or not. When one has an event (swimming, lacrosse, dance, band) we all show up. It's not always possible to be everywhere for everything, but we show up for each other and everyone knows they are important."
<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/15/blended-family-friday-mee_n_2681378.html">Read Elizabeth and Donald's full Blended Family Friday profile </a>
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Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/14/blended-family-_n_3437032.html
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